


i guess its hard not to dream about someone whos always on your mind

by pondboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Not Canon Compliant, POV Third Person, basically this is just a very specific situation that im in that i put them in to cope, dave/karkat roomies but platonic, i hope its enjoyable anyways doe, ignoring the epilogues/hs2, john is aro/aspec, sorry homestucks, this isnt very edited lol, this was made because i wanted to project and writing is one of my main emotional outlets rn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pondboy/pseuds/pondboy
Summary: john and karkat have complicated emotions and individual views and experiences of romance, but sometimes things work out for a little bit and they don't need to be talked about.  otherwise known as: john and karkat fall asleep to movies on the couch, and end up snuggling in karkats bed, because sometimes implications and intents and everything else can be put aside for the next day and you can just enjoy a moment while its here.
Relationships: John Egbert/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 6





	i guess its hard not to dream about someone whos always on your mind

It was a hot summer night, and somehow the ac was running cold enough for it to be nearly drafty in the small apartment. It was late, late enough for it to be dark in the midst of July, and John sat next to Dave and Karkat on their couch, perfectly sandwiched between his friends. 

Well, he had some more thinking to do on the whole “what makes a friend just a friend or not just a friend and maybe something more than a friend” train of thought that had been chugging around in his brain for a bit since he broke up with Terezi, which only sped up when Karkat confessed his feelings for John in passing. He said that he understood if John never wanted to talk about it again but he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

They were watching old romance movies on the old romance movie channel, because while John and Karkat wanted to watch romcoms, Dave insisted they keep some scrap of dignity and class, and so they ended up on the channel that hosts movies for people old enough to be considered antiques. 

John would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying them. The current showing strayed more from romance and was definitely a noir, but he couldn’t resist an old detective film with some romance tossed in on the side. Okay, being honest, there was not very much romance in this film (seeing as it wasn’t the main focus) but once again, he was a huge sucker for a good noir film. The 30’s and 40s were one of many golden ages for cinema, and John would not take any other answers.

He looked over at Dave, who was texting somebody (presumably Rose, or maybe Jade) so he looked back at Karkat. John stared at the normally loud and brazen troll who was so engrossed in the film that he was abnormally silent. His chin was in his hands with his elbows on his knees and John loved to see Karkat just… enjoy something. It didn’t happen very often, without at least some halfhearted complaints.

Karkat glanced to see John staring, then quickly looked back at the tv after making eye contact. Upon still feeling John's stare, he stared back. “SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE WATCHING ME MORE THAN YOU ARE THE MOVIE THAT *YOU* INSISTED WE FINISH, INSTEAD OF FINDING SOMETHING WE WOULD ALL ENJOY.” 

And there goes the silence.

John blinked, unaware of just how long he’d been fixated on Karkat. His ears burned and he knew for a fact his face was bright fucking red, but he was (relatively) sure that it would just be taken as embarrassment. “oh, sorry! i don’t know what’s gotten into me, haha” he laughed to try to ease the tension. He wanted to make a funny quip about how Karkat was enjoying it just as much as he was, but he felt too stupid to get the words out.

Karkat moved his eyes back to the tv. “FUCKING WEIRDO.” but John could hear something lighter in his tone that wasn’t usually present for his insults.

Dave looked up from his phone, glancing back and forth from John to Karkat and so on, and started furiously texting. So he was assuredly texting Rose. Lovely. John just couldn't wait to hear what she had to say. This is all sarcastic, of course. He had become much more sarcastic lately, most likely from being around Karkat as much as he had been. On the plus side, this left him better equipped to talk to Rose when she would inevitably chat him up about whatever she decided was worth psychoanalyzing about his relationship with Karkat. Which was interesting, because she was not usually one to talk about romance before she found herself in one with Kanaya.

Dave stretched. “look guys, i like watching stale ass movies older than the saltines on the damn titanic as much as the next guy, but i need to sleep. ill see you guys tomorrow. or at least karkat, i dont actually know if ill see you tomorrow john. either way im going to bed before i pass the fuck out right here on the couch as i try to watch this snoozefest with you fuckasses. goodnight, fuckass city. population: 2.” Dave rambled as he made his way from the couch to the bathroom to his bedroom.

“WHATEVER. SLEEP TIGHT, FUCKWAD.” Karkat yelled absentmindedly. It's actually crazy how they never got noise complaints. They had some very, very lenient neighbors.

“goodnight dave! sleep well!” John called, eyes glued to the tv. Earlier was embarrassing enough so he just kept his eyes on the tv instead of wherever else they might wander to humiliate him again.

“DUDE, SCOOT OVER. NOW THAT FUCKASS THE THIRD ISNT HERE WE CAN ACTUALLY SIT TOGETHER IN A NORMAL FUCKING FASHION AND NOT LIKE GOG DAMN SARDINES.” Karkat elbowed John, trying to catch his attention.

John tried to pretend he was watching the movie and not overthinking every miserable choice and stumble and mishap he’d ever made in front of Karkat from the past up until the present, seeing as he was about to do it again. “hmm? oh, yeah, of course.” he scooted over to the very other side of the couch, and then thought maybe that would come off like he didn’t want to sit next to Karkat at all, which isn't true, and then he mentally shouted at himself for even thinking this far, because Karkat probably didn't care, because he was Karkat, and he was cooler than you, and nobody just worries about the stupidest shit like you do, and-

“JOHN? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, DUDE?” Karkat asked, one hand on John’s shoulder and the other waving in front of his face. “THE CREDITS HAVE BEEN ROLLING FOR LIKE NEARLY A WHOLE FUCKING MINUTE AND I *ALMOST* WANTED TO WAIT LONGER JUST TO SEE HOW LONG YOU’D GO BUT THEN I GOT BORED.”

“oh shit, did i space out again?” John blinked, suddenly jolted back to the real world.

Karkat retreated back to his corner of the couch, and John wished he didn’t. “YEAH DUDE. REAL BAD. DO YOU NEED TO LIKE, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING? THIS IS A ONE TIME OFFER SO IF YOU DONT TAKE IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.” Karkat said, trying to be genuine and still falling back on his menacing facade. Well, as menacing as a 5’3 troll with an attitude problem could be. To be perfectly honest, Karkat could actually be scary at times. John sure was intimidated by him the first time he met him. Now, not so much.

“well…” John hesitated. Karkat knew the most about romance and all that out of anyone he’d ever met, excluding Roxy and Nepeta, and while he would love to talk about whatever the fuck was going on with him, he didn’t really know how to start. He had mentioned how he felt like he was somewhere on the aromantic spectrum with Karkat, but now he was struggling with the… whatever the fuck aspect of his feelings, especially towards Karkat himself. But he knew that Karkat could and definitely would immediately sniff him out, so he shook his head. He just wanted to enjoy a night alone with his friend, who he also wanted to hold and kiss and other romantic devices, but not in a completely romantic manner. He would sort it out later.

“nah, not really. i’m just a bit tired.” John shook his head.

“YOU WANT A BLANKET AND SHIT? YOU CAN SLEEP HERE IF YOU WANT. I ASSUMED YOU WOULD.” Karkat offered, muting the swelling vintage credits music. He rolled his eyes too, of course, because he had to make sure he came off as sarcastic and not completely sincere. It’s not like he assumed John would stay over because he carefully noticed and kept track of his habits. Actually, that's exactly what happened, even if John didn’t realize.

“yeah, that'd be cool. thanks, man.” John smiled and waited patiently as Karkat got up to get a pillow and blanket and was stunned when he realized they were both from Karkat’s bed. “oh shit, thanks dude!” he said, sitting up straight.

“YEAH, NO PROBLEM,” Karkat said as he sat down closer to the middle of the couch than he was before. “ARE YOU DOWN TO WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE?” he asked.

“yeah! let's do it.'' John snuggled down under the blankets and Karkat sat cross legged on the couch in that weird way he did. Not weird in a bad way, of course! It was just that John noticed whenever Karkat got comfortable around people, he always sat in ways that made him seem even smaller than he already was, with his knees to his chest or cross legged or however else. It was like he finally let his guard down, to let himself appear to others in a way he usually tried to hide. It was strangely comforting to John, and he wondered if he did similarly revealing gestures unknowingly.

John caught himself staring again before Karkat could catch him, and looked back at the tv. As he watched the movie, he started to feel drowsy. Not thinking straight, he yawned and leaned against Karkat.

Karkat’s mind was torn away from the movie as he felt John's head come to rest on his shoulder. He knew John well, and this was within the range of affection he was okay with, but it definitely wasn’t what he was expecting. He thought John would be uncomfortable with that type of thing when Karkat told him about his flushed feelings after John had in turn confessed his own feelings of aromanticism, but he couldn't say he wasn't secretly excited. The excitement came with unwelcome doubts about how John might have felt about him in return, with suspicions if being led on or how “strictly platonic” (as John liked to say) the gesture might have been, but he tried to push it aside and focus on the positives and if not that, the gog damn movie. Even as he felt like maybe he was exploiting John’s affections for his own misintended satisfactions. But Kanaya always told him that feelings and thoughts and emotions weren’t harmful unless acted on, and while this was blurring the line between acting or not acting on them, he decided to keep that in mind as his heart pounded, but eventually slowed, and he leaned his head onto John’s.

Neither of them said anything, they just enjoyed the rest of the movie. John dozed off first, and Karkat stayed with him, not wanting to wake him. He fell asleep by the end of the movie, and they slept together for a while, just like that. 

Some time later, he woke up from horrid pain from sitting like that for hours, and he got up as quietly as he could. He gently laid John's head onto the pillow, and tucked him in. He stared at the sleeping boy before him, feeling like his heart was all tied up in a million knots. He wished he could be with John, and he knew John probably didn’t feel the same way, because maybe he couldn’t? and he just…. He wanted it, so bad. He wanted to hold him late at night and touch his hair and his face and kiss him and be with him, but he knew at the end of the day that it wasn’t what John wanted. He sighed deeply and walked to his room, climbing into his cold bed.

John stirred as Karkat walked away, missing his warmth and his comfort. “wait, dude,” he mumbled, sitting up.

Karkat heard him, since his door was still open, and got up. “IS SOMETHING WRONG?” he whispered loudly, leaning over the back of the couch with his arms crossed beneath him, supporting his weight.

John sat up, still half asleep. “i miss you,” he rubbed his eyes.

Karkat stopped, unsure what to say in his sleepy stupor. “WELL. COME ON THEN.” he began walking to his room, gesturing for John to follow.

John grabbed his hand and his blanket and walked closely behind, following him into bed and holding on tight to Karkat. His legs tangled with Karkat’s as he buried his face into Karkats chest and immediately fell asleep again, snoring.

Karkat gazed at John's mess of hair in the shifting light coming through his closed blinds from the lamp on the street outside, and tried to process how this whole scenario had even come to be. He then decided to stop thinking about it, to stop thinking at all for once in his goddamn life, and to just enjoy this. Any worries that crowded his mind now could wait till tomorrow, where he would deal with them promptly. For now, this was all that mattered. This dark room, holding this one. No worries about what he did or didn’t feel, and no worries about what other people might think. Just peaceful sleep in the arms of the boy he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> hi thanks for reading this is sorta a vent work but like not in a bad way lol i just cope via projection LMAO anyways i hope you liked it even if it wasn't relatable (or if it was)


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